are you out of your mind?

2011-09-11T01:24:00.000-07:00

Well Randy, here we are again; September 11. It seems that it was just yesterday that I was given your name in an on-line blogger program to remember those who lost their lives in that horrible day of September 11, 2001. It seems so unreal that it has been 5 years since we were introduced and 10 years since you were murdered. I do think about you often, not just 9/11, but at times in my life were I wonder how your life would have gone, had you not been killed. I have had 2 daughters graduate High School since we met. I know you had daughters, I wonder how they are and how they are getting along with their lives? I have a granddaughter now. I wonder how you would have felt as a Grandpa? I just wanted to say hello, Randolph and remind you and myself that I have not forgotten you. I have not forgotten September 11, 2001.

7 years...

2008-09-11T22:53:00.000-07:00

randy, i just wanted to say that i have not forgotten you.

Randolph Scott.

time alone...

2008-06-25T19:17:00.000-07:00

i left home on june 14th for a business trip. i started out with the thought of using the time to make some decisions in my life about who i wanted to be and who i wanted to grow old with or if i wanted to grow old alone. i thought the time alone on the road would be revealing into who i am. that idea has crumbled. i am more confused now than i was when i left. the only thing that i am sure of is that i am going to continue to exercise. it makes me feel good and maybe i can loose some weight and maybe gain some clarity on the rest of my days.

wine barrel...

2008-06-22T09:47:00.000-07:00

i started exercising today. i mean for real, not just 10 min. and say "ahh thats good enough". i spent 45 minutes in there sweating and stinking and wishing i had not let myself go so far. i think i weight about 214 lbs. that would be really cool if i was like, ah 6'4" or somewhere in that range and not 5'8". i feel like a wine barrel without the pleasure of the wine. i am going to try and stay on a healthy path. eat better, drink less and exercise more. no promises or resolutions - just me making better choices.

a new day...

2008-06-21T19:38:00.000-07:00

i think i need to change my thinking and change how i feel about the things that go on in my life. maybe i will start blogging again as therapy, specially now that no one reads it. i can start anew with thoughts, words and ideas. maybe i can find the peace i used to have with those that got me started blogging. i know that i need more of the Man upstairs.

today is step one.

mr. moto...

2008-04-17T00:09:00.001-07:00

this is what i have been doing as of late. i joined an "old guy" race club and have been loving it.

old guys rule!

super...

2008-02-07T10:59:00.000-08:00

i have been sick with this damn super cold, that has been going around, for two weeks now. i am damn tired of coughing up lung and never feeling better. it is always amazing to me how quickly we can spread germs and disease. i mean, it is not like we go around licking handrails on the stairwell to the subway. well at least i don't. if you do, you have more serious issues besides what cold you may pick (or lick) up.

well on to something else sickening. politics.

did everyone survive "super tuesday"? i know it was a big day here in kollifornya (as my terminator governor would say) because of the number of delegates at stake. i didn't go to a polling office, so i don't know how the turnout was or what the quiet discussions were. i typically absentee vote because with my travels i am rarely home on a tuesday. anyway, i voted some time back, like a retard, and voted for someone who was no longer running. it looks now like i will have to settle for the old soldier and hope that he can leave behind some of his liberal ideology. mainly, i hope he will finally see that we have to control our borders long before we can claim that "homeland security" is secure. and the crazy liberals, who want to take in these illegals and give them rights, benefits, welfare and a voice is the dumbest thing i have ever heard of. more on this later. my blood pressure just spiked and i need to lie down.

really i'm not dead...

2008-01-24T17:11:00.000-08:00

it has been some time since i have been here. i got burnt out on sitting on my ass in front of a computer...writung, reading, commenting, thinking, drinking and getting fat! i think i will try to come back once in a while and write for myself. if you've made it here, maybe you made a mistake or you are an old blog friend, but in any case, i am going to write what is on my mind. if you are a liberal democrap, may i suggest you stop now and never return because you will not like my opinion. and it is just that MY OPINION! not everything that i believe can be proven or backed up with some resonable fact, but it is the way i think about it. don't like it, don't read it.

future thoughts

- illegal immigration
- useless liberal agenda of wasteful spending
- iraq
- taxes
- marriage
- death (is that considered the same thing?)
- travel/hotels/bad food
- any other bit of shit i care to discuss.

now... i am spent. this is a lot of typing for my first post back.

no explaination needed...

2007-05-09T09:02:00.000-07:00

You've got to love our Veterans....

2007-04-16T16:53:00.000-07:00

This man, 73, wears a protective flap over his ear while Senator Hillary Clinton addresses the Veterans of Foreign Wars.

a magazine for married men...

2007-03-21T18:12:00.000-07:00

what i did last week-end...

2007-02-27T17:07:00.000-08:00

2007-02-19T20:50:00.000-08:00

NEW TELEPHONE GREETING

Wouldn't it be pretty amazing, if this caught on, all over the country?.........

"GOOD MORNING, WELCOME TO THE UNITED STATES."

"Press '1' if you speak English,"
"Press '2' to disconnect until you can."

The Hypnotist...

2007-02-15T14:23:00.000-08:00

The Hypnotist at the Senior Center

It was entertainment night at the Senior Center and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill.

People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff.

As Claude went to the front of the meeting room, he announced, "Unlike most hypnotists who invite two or three people up here to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."

The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. "I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations."

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch..."

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.

"Shit" said the Hypnotist.

It took three days to clean up the senior center.

and so it begins...

2007-02-13T22:14:00.000-08:00

no title needed...

2007-02-05T11:43:00.000-08:00

The New Laurel and Hardy.

Kerry and Kennedy!

Brought to you by the great commonwealth of Mass-a-two-shits...

morning...

2007-01-24T08:50:00.000-08:00

timing is everything...

2007-01-20T09:40:00.000-08:00

A cop was patrolling at night at a well-known lover's lane. He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly glowing. The cop carefully approaches the car to get a closer look.

Then he sees a young man behind the wheel reading a computer magazine. He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, knitting. Puzzled by this surprising situation, the cop walks to the car and gently raps on the driver's window.

The young man lowers his window. "Uh, yes, officer?"
"What are you doing?"
"Well, isn't it obvious? I'm reading a magazine, sir."
Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the cop says: "And her, what is she doing?"

The young man shrugs: "Sir, I believe she's knitting a pullover sweater."

Now, the cop is totally confused. A young couple. Alone, in a car, at night in a Lover's Lane and nothing obscene is happening!

"What's your age, young m an?"
"I'm 23, sir."
"And her ... what's her age?"

The young man looks at his watch and replies:
"She'll be 18 in 11 minutes."

still remembering...

2007-01-17T22:00:00.000-08:00

i recieved a comment from someone today that really made me stop and think about things. we sometimes are so forgetfull or uninterested, as americans, unless it "affects" us. take for example september 11, 2001. how often do you think about it? how often do you think about the family members that were left behind? how often do you think about the hatred and disgust that these terrorist have for us, simply because we view life differently?

tonight, a dinner was purchased for a marine, who served two tours in iraq, and his family. it was supposed to be kept a secret, but it was not. the hand shake of that marine, was solid and strong. he thanked me. me? for what? i do nothing! i do not risk my life to protect freedom. i do not sacrifice so others can complain about a war. i do nothing. i can never repay this young man for all that HE has done for me. i have had family in this country since the mayflower and i love this country and all that it stands for. are we always right or perfect... no way, but i would rather be here than anywhere else on this earth. and i would not be able to be sitting here typing if it were not for people like the young marine or our hero's from 9/11, including the innocents that fought and succuum to the terrorist that day.

i remember randy scott and i remember my young marine and their families for being brave and strong and proud.

even if we listened, we wouldn't get it....

2007-01-14T18:29:00.000-08:00

1.) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.

Two Proposals Worth Considering...

2007-01-12T10:31:00.000-08:00

New Gas Plan....Bush wants us to cut the amount of gas we use. The best way to stop using so much gas is to deport 11 million illegal immigrants! That would be 11 million less people using our gas. The price of gas would have to come down as a result.

New Immigration Plan... Bring our troops home from Iraq, to guard the border. When they catch an illegal immigrant crossing the border, hand him a canteen, rifle and some ammo and ship him to Iraq Tell him if he wants to come to America , then he must serve a tour in the military. Give him a soldier's pay while he's there and tax him on it. After his tour, he will be allowed to become a citizen since he defended this country. He will also be registered to be taxed and be a legal patriot. This option will probably deter illegal immigration and provide a solution for the troops in Iraq, and the aliens trying to make a better life for themselves. If they refuse to serve, ship them to Iraq anyway, without the canteen, rifle or ammo.

Problem solved.

it's gunna hurt...

2007-01-09T18:38:00.000-08:00

to pee or not to pee...

2007-01-08T09:00:00.000-08:00

where do i line up for one...

2006-12-18T23:30:00.000-08:00

christmas downsizing...

2006-12-14T18:45:00.000-08:00

Todays global challenges require the North Pole to continue to look for
better, more competitive steps.

Effective immediately, the following
economy measures are to take place in the Twelve Days of Christmas subsidiary:

The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree never turned out to be
the cash crop forecasted. It will be replaced by a plastic hanging
plant, providing considerable savings in maintenance.

The two turtle doves represent a redundancy that is simply not
cost-effective. In addition, their romance during working hours could
not be condoned. The positions are therefore eliminated.

The three French hens will remain intact. After all, everyone loves the
French.

The four calling birds were replaced by an automated voice mail system,
with a call waiting option. An analysis is under way to determine who
the birds have been calling, how often, and how long they talked.

The five golden rings have been put on hold by the Board of Directors.
Maintaining a portfolio based on one commodity could have negative
implications for institutional investors. Diversification into other
precious metals as well as a mix of T-Bills and high technology stocks
appear to be in order.

The six geese-a-laying constitutes a luxury which can no longer be
afforded. It has long been felt that the production rate of one egg per
goose per day is an example of the decline in productivity. Three geese
will be let go, and an upgrading in the selection procedure by personnel
will assure management that from now on every goose it gets will be a
good one.

The seven swans-a-swimming is obviously a number chosen in better times.
Their function is primarily decorative. Mechanical swans are in order.
The current swans will be retrained to learn some new strokes and
therefore enhance their outplacement.

As you know, the eight maids-a-milking concept has been under heavy
scrutiny by the EEOC. A male/female balance in the workforce is being
sought. The more militant maids consider this a dead-end job with no
upward mobility. Automation of the process may permit the maids to try
a-mending, a-mentoring or a-mulching.

Nine ladies dancing has always been an odd number. This function will be
phased out as these individuals grow older and can no longer do the steps.

Ten Lords-a-leaping is overkill. The high cost of lords plus the expense
of international air travel prompted the Compensation Committee to
suggest replacing this group with ten out-of-work congressmen. While
leaping ability may be somewhat sacrificed, the savings are significant
because we expect an oversupply of unemployed congressmen this year.

Eleven pipers piping and twelve drummers drumming is a simple case of
the band getting too big. A substitution with a string quartet, a
cutback on new music, and no uniforms will produce savings which will
drop right down to the bottom line.

We can expect a substantial reduction in assorted people, fowl, animals
and other expenses. Though incomplete, studies indicate that stretching
deliveries over twelve days is inefficient. If we can drop ship in one
day, service levels will be improved.

Regarding the lawsuit filed by the attorneys association seeking
expansion to include the legal profession(thirteen lawyers-a-suing),action is pending.

Lastly, it is not beyond consideration that deeper cut may be necessary
in the future to stay competitive. Should that happen, the Board will
request management to scrutinise the Snow White Division to see if seven
dwarfs is the right number.

la, la, la la, la, la...

2006-12-11T20:36:00.000-08:00

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

"In honor of this holy season" Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter.

He flicked it on. "It represents a candle", he said.

"You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells."

Saint Peter said "You may pass through the pearly gates".

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

The man replied, "These are Carol's."

i've fallen and i can't get up...

2006-11-09T06:50:00.000-08:00

it has been two days since this country lost its sense and its ability to use rational judgment and i am scared. i already feel less safe from the terrorist world and i feel like i am being prepped for an anal probe (demonstrated here by ms. pelosi), just to see how many more tax dollars i can shit out to pay for a domestic agenda of welfare and meaningless handouts.

at least my state voted arnuld back in, which is surprising, since democrats seemed to have won so many other positions. but, i guess you can't really consider arnuld a true conservative anyway, so that fits with the stupidity of this state.

it will be interesting to see what happens and how we do as a society, pushing a useless domestic agenda, and having a "let's run and bury our heads in the sand and this will all go away" foreign policy.

W, get that damn VETO stamp warmed up!

Redneck Special Forces...

2006-11-06T09:57:00.000-08:00

The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces.

These Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, Missouri, Oklahoma , Tennessee and Texas boys will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:

1. The season opened today.

2. There is no limit.

3. They taste just like chicken.

4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music, or Jesus.

5. They are all gay.

6. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.

too good to pass up...

2006-11-01T20:34:00.000-08:00

--------retirement momentarily detoured

kerry eats ketchup again...

ok, now i'm out!

i'm outta here...

2006-10-25T10:52:00.000-07:00

i am going to stop blogging for a while. i know, i do this all the time and then i come back, but this last short break must not have been long enough because i have nothing to say. nothing new, nothing creative, nothing my own... the tv has started to show color settings and playing the national anthem (those of you old enough, will understand this). i will leave you with some parting thoughts until i return again...

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia ." (Charles Schultz)

.....................

Free double-pane energy windows

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that expensive double-pane energy efficient kind, and today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I still hadn't paid for them.

Hellloooo, just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid.

So, I told him just what his fast talking sales guy had told ME last year,....namely, that in ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves!

Helllooooo? It's been a year! (I told him.) There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up....

He never called back. Guess I won that stupid argument.

..................

Camels

The picture above was taken of camels in the desert.

It is considered one of the best pictures of the year (2005).

Look closely, the camels are the little white lines in the picture.

The black you see is just the shadows!

.....................

GO AND VOTE

make sure you go and vote! i'm not telling you who to vote for (republican) but you need to get out there and make your voice heard (republican) because if you do not... you have no right to complain (democrat)!

...................

HAPPY PUMPKIN DAY

how long do we have...

2006-10-17T19:43:00.000-07:00

This is interesting for anyone....even a Democrat.

Read and Think....??

How Long Do We Have?

About the time our original thirteen states adopted their new constitution in 1787, Alexander Tyler, a Scottish history professor at the University of Edinburgh, had this to say about the fall of the Athenian Republic some 2,000 years earlier:

"A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government. A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always vote for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, which is always followed by a dictatorship."

"The average age of the world's greatest civilizations from the beginning of history, has been about 200 years. During those 200 years, those nations always progressed through the following sequence:

1. From bondage to spiritual faith;
2. From spiritual faith to great courage;
3. From courage to liberty;
4. From liberty to abundance;
5. From abundance to complacency;
6. From complacency to apathy;
7. From apathy to dependence;
8. From dependence back into bondage"

Professor Joseph Olson of Hamline University School of Law in St. Paul, Minnesota, points out some interesting facts concerning the 2000 Presidential election:

Population of counties won by: Gore: 127 million; Bush: 143 million
Square miles of land won by: Gore: 580,000; Bush: 2,427,000
States won by: Gore: 19; Bush: 29
Murder rate per 100,000 residents in counties won by: Gore: 13.2; Bush: 2.1

Professor Olson adds: "In aggregate, the map of the territory Bush won was mostly the land owned by the taxpaying citizens of this great country. Gore's territory mostly encompassed those citizens living in government-owned tenements and living off various forms of government welfare..."

Olson believes the United States is now somewhere between the"complacency and apathy" phase of Professor Tyler's definition of democracy, with some forty percent of the nation's population already having reached the "governmental dependency" phase.

If Congress grants amnesty and citizenship to twenty million criminal invaders called illegals and they vote, then goodbye to the USA in fewer than five years.

always PC...

2006-10-14T10:14:00.000-07:00

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, all Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES." You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And furthermore ..

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK". She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER". She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."

3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."

7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED"

8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."

9. She does not "NAG" you- She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."

11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."

12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT"- He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER"- He is "OVERLY-CAUCASIAN." (love that one!!)

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."

6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."

7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."

9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."

10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."

11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE"

shooting the bull...

2006-10-06T19:13:00.000-07:00

An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other.

He says to the waiter, "Want coffee."

The waiter says, "Sure, Chief, coming right up."

He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee.

The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere, then just walks out.

The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand pulling another male buffalo with the other.

He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "Want coffee."

The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto! We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What was all that about, anyway?"

The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Training for position in United States Congress. Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for the rest of the day."

why dogs bite...

2006-10-05T07:52:00.000-07:00

new terms...

2006-10-03T22:44:00.000-07:00

not that there's anything wrong with it...

2006-09-29T20:53:00.000-07:00

A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new rooster for his chicken coop.

The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK old fart, time for you to retire."

The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you can't handle ALL of these hens. Look at what it's done to me. Can't you just let me have the two over in the corner?"

The young rooster says, "Beat it: You're washed up and I'm taking over."

The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I'll race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop."

The young rooster laughs. "You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start."

The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off after him. As they round the front porch of the farmhouse, the young rooster has closed the gap. He's only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast.

The farmer meanwhile, sitting in his usual spot on the front porch, sees the roosters running by.

He grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - he blows the young rooster to bits.

The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, "Darn, that's the third gay rooster I bought this month."

Moral of this story? ... Don't mess with us OLD FARTS - age, skill, and treachery will always overcome youth and arrogance!

first kiss...

2006-09-26T21:55:00.000-07:00

So, it's your first kiss and several questions might come to mind:

Is it the right time?

Is anyone watching?

Does your partner even want to?

Is your breath fresh?

And ... should you use some tongue?

Then you lean in and just go for it!!!

i wish...

2006-09-22T23:50:00.000-07:00

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN, GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to all terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes Amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch you're precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2 Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of one another; you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin’'."

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic. God bless America. Thank you and good night. If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.

I remember...

2006-09-11T00:01:00.000-07:00

I remember five years ago today. A memory that is still fresh, as if it were only yesterday.

Do you recall where you were? Do you remember what you were doing five years ago today?

Will any of us ever be able to forget how or what we felt as we watched the attacks on the World Trade Center, the Pentagon and a field in Pennsylvania? Within a few hours our whole existence as Americans changed.

These memories are something I hope that none of us will ever forget. I also hope that we will never forget the innocent victims of this terrorist act.

Today, I remember Randolph Scott. I remember crying the day he was murdered. I remember where I was the moment my mom called me to ask if I was watching the television. I remember how I felt - total disbelief and shock.

I never met Randolph Scott, but we will forever be linked together in a moment that has changed us forever. We shared common interest in life; the love of our wives, our children and motorcycles. We shared the routine of going to work each morning, so we could provide for our families and those which we loved. Today, I remember Randy Scott, a loving husband, a loving and giving father and a wonderful American.

Today, just like everyday, I remember.

stepping back...

2006-08-24T19:59:00.000-07:00

i am in burnout mode, and i feel like the dog in this photo, so i am taking a "break" from this crazy world for a while. i hope that you all don't run off and never visit again, but i understand. i need to spend some time at home with my family and get some stuff done around home and stop sitting in front of a computer screen so much. hopefully i will come back strong and refreshed with some new and improved witty posts!

i may still lurk around your blogs and comment to you once in a while, but my post are done for a while.

(a while might mean tomorrow, but i hope i can stay focused on task a little longer than that)

thanks to all for stoppin' over and shootin' the breeze with me.

best short joke this year...

2006-08-21T13:47:00.000-07:00

A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.

"Mom", he asked, "Are these my brains?"

"Not yet," she replied.

i thought that you ladies would enjoy this very poor joke! i am sorry if you were smacked in the face by it's bluntness. i am unclear as to why this humor has been thrust upon us. i know it would be funny if it had a few inches of truth. i probably should have just sacked it, instead of letting this poor humor simply limp along.

have a nice day!

i dunno...

2006-08-16T19:45:00.000-07:00

i don't have any idea if i am the idiot or if blogger is sucking as usual, but my last post is not showing up on my computer. i go to edit it and it is the way i want it, but then i look at my site and it is jacked up. i have been trying to fix it since yesterday, with no luck. your comments are not showing up either, so thanks for sharing a bed with me to all of you.

i hope that i can figure this out soon enough or i really will require a bed next to the window and a fancy white punk-rock jacket with cool straps and buckles!

the bathtub test...

2006-08-16T07:04:00.000-07:00

It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started.

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criteria was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"......................

..............."hi roomy, you can call me mgc."

what classic movie...

2006-08-08T18:11:00.000-07:00

i stole this from Tara. do the 45 questions, it is really quick and fun. mine is right on the money! scary!!!

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

more money for the airlines...

2006-08-05T16:42:00.000-07:00

Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.

Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers!

What the hell-the attendants have gotten old and haggard looking. They don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?

The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a "party atmosphere" going in the cabin.

And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women. Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money.

Hell, I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and "special services."

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues.

This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right, a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.

Why in heck didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do

everything myself?

Sincerely,

Bill Clinton

just not gunna go...

2006-08-01T21:23:00.000-07:00

another trip another dollar. at what point is the dollar no longer worth the journey? i have come to the realization that i am just lazy. not lazy in that i want to sit on my couch until it consumes my flesh, but i hate working. i admit it. i hate it. i don't like getting up to go. i don't like it when i'm there. i just hate it. i hate the travel i do in my current job, but i would hate staying in an office all day. i would hate being outside. one day it's too hot, the next it's too cold. never happy.

i would like to just do nothing. maybe like my hero in office space, peter. "i'm just not gunna go". i know some people love to work. they wake up early in the morning, excited to get to a new day at the office. yeah, the same type of people who die 2 months and 4 days into their retirement.

i mean, other than the money, which let's face it, is the reason most of us work at all, why is work exciting? maybe if you write books (i was going to put in a shameless plug for barry, but thought i better not). that might be a fun job. or a comedian or an over hyped actor. what about being a professional bum? even then i would still have to work. i mean they get up at the crack of dawn to get to the "money" corners. i would over sleep and get like penny alley or something. work is just so over rated.

i'm just not going to go. what about bills. yeah i don't really like those either.....

One Hundred Years Ago...

2006-07-31T15:25:00.000-07:00

Here are some of the U.S. statistics for the Year 1906

The average life expectancy in the U.S. was 47 years. * Only 14 percent of the homes in the U.S. had a bathtub. * Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone. * A three-minute call from Denver to New York City cost eleven dollars. * There were only 8,000 cars in the U.S., and only 144 miles of paved roads. The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph. * Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa, and Tennessee were each more heavily populated than California. With a mere 1.4 million people, California was only the 21st most populous state in the Union. * The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower! * The average wage in the U.S was 22 cents per hour. The average U.S. worker made between $200 and $400 per year. * A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year, a dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year. * More than 95 percent of all births in the U.S. took place at HOME. * Ninety percent of all U.S. doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION! Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press AND the government called it "substandard." * Sugar cost four cents a pound. * Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen. * Coffee was fifteen cents a pound. * Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used borax or egg yolks for shampoo. * Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from entering into their country for any reason. * Five leading causes of death in the U.S. were: 1. Pneumonia and influenza 2. Tuberculosis 3. Diarrhea 4. Heart disease 5. Stroke. * The American flag had 45 stars. Arizona, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Hawaii, and Alaska hadn't been admitted to the Union yet. * The population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was only 30!!!! * Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and ice tea hadn't been invented yet. * There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day. * Two out of every 10 U.S. adults couldn't read or write. * Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school. * Eighteen percent of households in the U.S. had at least one full-time servant or domestic help. * There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE U.S.A. !

In one life time people have traveled on "street cars" and "space ships" and man has walked on the moon!! What will our grandkids ask us one day?

What a difference a century makes!

priorities II....

2006-07-30T12:25:00.000-07:00

A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls,
and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde.

The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.

Finally, after many such glances from her, he said,"It's golf balls".

Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally,
not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked,
"Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"

priorities...

2006-07-29T09:35:00.000-07:00

A husband and wife go to a counselor after 15 years of marriage.

The counselor asks them what the problem is and the wife goes into a tirade listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they've been married. She goes on and on and on.

Finally, the counselor gets up, walks around the desk, embraces the wife and kisses her passionately. The woman shuts up and sits quietly in a daze.

The counselor turns to the husband and says, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"

The husband thinks for a moment and replies,"Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays, I golf."

it just bugs me...

2006-07-28T00:01:00.000-07:00

i have spent the last two nights eating and drinking at the Sierra Nevada Brewery. now first, i will admit that i might have been partaking a little too much last night to really pay attention to much of anything, except i noticed they have the coolest thing called the "sampler". it is 11 or 12 large shot glasses of their different beers. you get to try from light to friggin black beer and decide what you like and don't like. i drank them all! i didn't like them all, but wasting beer is against my religion! then i got few pints of what i liked....

anyway, this post is not about how my liver is doing right now. it is about some things that i noticed while i was eating dinner at the brewery again, with a little less libations.

... in walks a handsom, nicely dressed man and a woman. the man is wearing a nice dress shirt with a collar and his hair is very neat. he is wearing a nice pair of black dockers, that are well pressed and a nice pair of black "work" style shoes. he then sits down to his table and what do i see.... WHITE socks! what the hell is this dork thinking? did he just run a marathon and forget to change his socks before dinner? does he have such bad foot odor that he was told by his doctor to never wear black socks? what an idiot! black pants, black shoes, .......................................................................................... black frickin' socks people!

... i am looking around the beautiful Taproom, which is very elegant, yet very comfortable and relaxed. i am looking around and happen to look directly at a ~~disgusting pig~~ woman who was chewing her food with her mouth open like a fucking camel! i can understand a child doing this, which a good parent would teach them to curb this as they age, but not a grown ~~pig~~ woman with ~~little piglets~~ children of her own. it was all i could do from laughing outloud, (i did have a few beers , so i figured i should not laugh too loud for fear of arrest for drunkenness!) gross!

Two Wolves...

2006-07-27T10:17:00.000-07:00

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.

He said, "My son, the battle is between two "wolves" inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather:

"Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

Breaking News...

2006-07-24T18:26:00.000-07:00

BREAKING NEWS !!!

Muslim Heaven, July 24, 2006

Al Qaeda leader Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, killed by US Forces in Iraq a few weeks ago, has just met with the first of his 72 virgins that Allah promised !!!

Daily News reporter Jack Hoff captured THIS exclusive photo of Mr. al-Zarqawi with his first virgin.

Allah is very loving!

what moves you...

2006-07-19T02:20:00.000-07:00

i was reading some of the blogs that i really enjoy and read a great post by flounder and it got me thinking about how we can be moved so much by movies, books, tv and music.

barry used the movie field of dreams which is such an awesome movie and it always moves me to tears. i have seen it's a wonderful life a gazillon times, like most of us, yet it causes puddles each and every time. i think tom cruise is an idiot and a brainwashed freak, but i like jerry mcguire for it's dynamics between jerry and rod and how it changes as we travel through the movie. i liked the movie american president for the "character" that president andy had as a person (i did not agree with the political position, but that is another post).

how about music? i can't help but travel back in time with any number of different songs. every time i hear elton john sing crocodile rock it reminds me of laying behind the driver seat of our van as we traveled from california to florida to visit some friends. i hear a song on the radio and i am reminded of the concert i attended to see that band. or a song can take you back to the first girl you kissed or the first time you did a number of things. or it can take you anywhere or remind you of anyone from your past. i love to travel there. today, i still have songs that move me, because they say something or transport me to another place.

there are so many things that touch us as human beings. we love, we hate, we smile, we cry, we remember, we forget. we are so complex and diverse. what i want to know is what moves you? what movie makes you laugh and remember good times or takes you back to better days or causes you to cry, be it happy or sad? what songs takes you back to that "first love" or that famous road trip with your friends?

no longer stuffy...

2006-07-13T17:42:00.000-07:00

i just like it...

2006-07-13T00:41:00.000-07:00

"Ummmmm, yeeeaaaaa, ummmmm i think i'm ummm gonna need you to come in on saturday."

"Ummmmm, yeeeaaaaaa did you get that memo...."

oh, you wanted one...

2006-07-11T01:40:00.000-07:00

ok, so i have been gone for a while trying to find something to complain about and wasn't having any luck.

wow, mgc, your life must be awesome?

well, no, not any better or any worse than anyone else's. i have just been too damn tired to care about much of anything. i just don't want to be bothered by anything right now... i think the scientific term for it is burnout, but i am not a doctor.

you're an asshole - i don't care
you're rude - i don't care
you're an idiot - again, i don't care
you're a jealous, petty, sniveling little bitch of a snitch - i care!

when i am home and not on the road, i like to take my wife dinner and a starbucks coffee. she works from 6pm to 6am and the little pick-me-up that i provide her has come in handy on some of those long nights. i always send her a text and tell her to get your orders in. now, notice that i said orders, as in more than one, not order, as in only for my wife. i would bring all the nurses in her dept., which is only two or three on any given night, but i would always ask if they wanted one too. i was the shit in her nursery! they loved me! i even gained a couple as "girlfriends" and i was happy to be the jammin jimmy with the java!

now, i would also stay and visit and look at the babies because i like babies, especially when they belong to someone else and i don't have to raise them... i digress. i went the other night and took dinner and coffee for the wife and a co-worker, we'll call her elton (don't ask). in order to get to the nursery i have to walk past one of the nurses stations on her floor. none of these ~~bitches~~ nurses are very friendly. they remind me of the snobby click of i am too good to notice you are breathing club of girls in high school. well, to keep you from turning the page, i will get to the point.... one of those bitches complained to a manager, because the wife and elton got "special treatment" and "strangers" should not be allowed in the nusery. i mean, i might be a baby snatcher or uncle pervy. i don't want any fucking kids... i can't wait for the one's that are mine to get the hell out of the house so i can walk around nekid whenever i want to and i think child molesters should be hung by their balls until death. i loved to visit and see these tiny babies grow, each time i would stop by something had changed. it was so great when a little one would finally get out of the "box", as i call it (incubator), and be able to be in a regular bassinet. i really loved to love the babies who came into this world already stoned, thanks to some dumb-ass DNA donor who couldn't lay off the smack long enough to have a straight child. and i loved it when i would walk in and a baby was gone, because that meant they got to go home. they grew big and strong and they got to go outside, and go home with mom and dad, or even to foster care... they grew strong and healthy and that made me happy.

now, i am not allowed to go there anymore. i guess if i would have bought coffee for all of their fat lazy asses, i would still be welcome. why not, it is $4.50 they don't have to spend. now, no one gets coffee and i don't get to send good thoughts of growth and health to my tiniest of tiny friends...

BITCHES

brain dead...

2006-06-29T23:30:00.000-07:00

i have nothing.

i am out of words.

i am too tired to think.

i'm having a party.

bbq, beer and swimming.

i may make it back.

but, then again, i may not.

riddle...

2006-06-28T22:50:00.000-07:00

You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a valley and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you.

In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level.

Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also traveling at the same speed as you. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

Get off the children's carousel and, next time, don't drink so much.

news flash...

2006-06-27T17:56:00.000-07:00

this newsflash just received....

Subject: Fw: Presidente Vincente Announcement:

Presidente Vincente Fox has announced that Mexico will not participate in the next Summer Olympics. The reason is that anyone who can run, jump, or swim... has already left the country.

now back to your regularly scheduled program, already in progress...

smart bartenders...

2006-06-25T23:56:00.000-07:00

Jerry went to a psychiatrist.

"Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!"

"Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears."

"How much do you charge?"

"A hundred dollars per visit."

"I'll think about it," said Jerry.

Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street.

"Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.

"For a hundred bucks a visit? A bartender cured me for $10."

"Is that so! How?"

"He told me to cut the legs off the bed!" Ain't nobody under there now!!!

i have to make like a baby and head out (sorry i couldn't help myself) on another trip, so i left you with something to laugh at and then really think about this joke. how often do we complicate ourselves and turn something so simple into something huge that takes $100 an hour to attempt to fix? hopefully i will have inter net in my hotels, but if not see ya and have a good week!

boys and their toys...

2006-06-23T21:11:00.000-07:00

this is a photo from four different jumps clumped together. not all that impressive. besides the jumps are lame due to lack of "air".

anyway, the photo below is my buddy's son josh and this is three photo's of the same jump (thank you cannon elan 7e for making me look like i know what the hell i am doing!) i want to try a faster speed next time out so i can get more takes to blend in. i like this and i know josh will love it when i have it blown up. also, i am posting his brother james getting some monster air. i think he smacked his nuts on the tank on landing this one, but guys don't ask things like that... we would all reach for our own wobblies! i love this sport and i love my new bike. it is a lot of fun and very easy to flick around and it is a great wheelie bike. as you can see i have nothing of importance to say so i am filling space with dirtbikes enjoy!

we're off to see the wizard...

2006-06-22T23:36:00.000-07:00

Four United States Presidents get caught up in a tornado and off they are whirled to the land of OZ. They finally made it to the Emerald City and went to find the Great Wizard.

" What brings the 4 of you before the great Wizard of Oz?"

Jimmy Carter stepped forward timidly and said:?"I've come for some courage."
"No Problem!" said the Wizard. "Who' s next?"

Richard Nixon stepped forward,"Well, I think I need a heart."?
"Done!" says the Wizard. "Who comes next before the Great and Powerful Oz?"

Up stepped George "Dubya" and said, "I'm told by the American people that I need a brain."
"No problem!" said the Wizard. "Consider it done."

Then there is a great silence in the hall. Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around. But he doesn't say a word. Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, "Well, what do you want?"

"IS DOROTHY HERE?"?

i prefer my president to lead with his big head and leave is little one in his pants. what a character?

i hate blogger...

2006-06-21T08:50:00.000-07:00

i hate blogger. i just wanted you to know. have a nice day!

favorite hobby...

2006-06-21T08:36:00.000-07:00

i have no time to write right now. between yelling at my kids, cleaning up after vacation and leaving for work, i am buried. here is a couple of pictures from vacation to look at until i can sit down and write something. i will say that this is my favorite hobby.

damn animals...

2006-06-21T00:30:00.000-07:00

Two guys are chatting in a bar.

One says, "Did you know that lions have sex 10 to 15 times a night?"

"Wouldn't you know it," says his friend. " I just joined the Elks."

i wonder...

2006-06-11T13:49:00.000-07:00

you know sometimes i wonder how important it is to be successful. now, i don't mean rich and living high on the hog, i mean just being successful at living. i look around and see all the wonderful "things" that i have in my life. i am spoiled rotten! i over indulge. i over spend. i over do and am overdue in many things (not financial, more like spraying weeds and hanging screen doors). i often wonder at what price do we consider ourselves successful? is it after we have the big house? the fancy new car? the harley in the garage? kids that aren't high on drugs and in trouble with the law? or can success be measured by how content you are in your heart? is the person who has everything happier and more complete than the person who is happy in their heart with what they have and where they are at? we get so caught up in possessing things that we don't remember what it was like to not have those possessions. i am not saying that i want to go backwards or throw my lifestyle away, so i can live like a pauper. i simply want to be able to take a step back and view my life as the blessing it is and remember that i am so fortunate to be able to "have" things. but i also want to remember that those "things" do not make the man and do not fulfill me as a human being.

this photo is the license plate on my harley. this is something i should remember a little more often. OVERBLESSED!

an ass whooping...

2006-06-06T23:07:00.000-07:00

i hate it when my wife is right. she loves to rub it in and add salt.

we where driving across town and faith no more comes on the radio. i’m driving along and notice out of the corner of my eye, my wife’s head bobbing back and forth (think of a motley crew video circa 1986)

i ask “what are you doing?”

“i’m doing what the guy in the video does.” she says.

i smirk and reply, “you have never seen this video!”

“sure I have.” as she gives me that look of “hello dumbass”

thinking i am so clever, i respond “so what is flopping around at the end of the video?” i am sure i have her on this and i can catch her bullshitting me. (i mean she like country music for pete’s sake)

she ponders the question for about 4 seconds and calmly says “a fish”

fuck me, she has seen this video, i think to my self. i think for a second and blurt out “yeah, well what kind of fish?”

“i think …. a gold fish”

i glance over at her and quickly look away because i know i just received an ass whooping. she starts to laugh, almost hysterically and starts pushing on my arm as i am trying to drive.

trying to save face i rather loudly shout out “what is the name of the band?”

“who cares, you said i had never seen the video, which i have, so who cares about the band name, i don’t know, but i know i just kicked your ass and it felt good!” (loud laughs and doh’s fill the car as my daughters enjoy this beating too!)

girls 1, boys 0

my latest obsession...

2006-06-02T00:40:00.000-07:00

no, it's not the butt floss she is wearing, although it is nice, it's the monster energy drink she is sporting that is my interest. i was given one of these as a sample at the thunder run motorcycle rally a year ago and i have been a junkie ever since. i drink 2 or 3 a day. the can says to drink responsibly and limit your consumption to no more than 3 cans. how are they going to sell more of this stuff if they limit how many cans we can have. so what if you walk around all day with a cool caffeine buzz and the shakes. gimme my monster drink, man! i buy them, well, my wife buys them at costco for me by the case.(i never buy anything; i haven't seen a paycheck in almost four years!)

i know this is probably not the most healthy drink i could consume from morning til mid day, but i can't stop. i need it! i want it! i gotta have it!

i don't drink coffee. i love the smell of freshly brewing coffee, but the taste is something i equate to eating wetted dirt. i have tried to be cool and learn to like it, so i could hang out at the damn coffee place on the corner and not be ridiculed. i've tried it black, with sugar, with cream, with sugar and cream. i've tried those damn $187.54 cups of starbuck's coffee with weird names like macchiato and latte. i wanted to gag. it would have been quicker and more cost effective for me to lick the bottom of my shoe... tastes the same.

so gimme, gimme, gimme my monster energy drink. i wake up; i want one. i have breakfast; i want one. i am thirsty before lunch; i gotta have one. i don't drink them in the evening though. i did that once and stayed up for 22 hours, slept 2 and started all over again, this time ceasing by 3pm. there is one draw back and that is that my wife will not kiss me if i have had one to drink in the last 20 min or so, because the smell makes her want to vomit. this is a conundrum; kiss - monster? monster - kiss?

"hey honey, pick me up another case of monster...."

Simple Pleasures Meme

2006-05-31T00:14:00.000-07:00

tagged from tara. here it goes.

LIST TEN OF LIFE'S SIMPLE PLEASURES:

1. my family

2. motorcycles

3. movies (even bad one's)

4. tools (hand and power)

5. monster energy drink

6. a cold fat tire(beer) on a hot day

7. a cold mike's lemonade on an even hotter day

8. camping in my trailer (which usually includes dirtbiking)

9. the smell of my wife's neck

10. bbq's in my backyard, with swimming

tagged:
spiltwine
bv
anita
nicolemart

remembering...

2006-05-28T14:02:00.000-07:00

i thought that i would take a moment to thank our troops (both regular and national guard) who are spread to the very ends of this earth. THANK YOU!

thank you never seems to be enough, but that is all we can say and that is all many of your service personnel desire... to know that we appreciate what they do. do many of us take what they do for granted? i think sometimes we do. we are all consumed with finding a place where we fit into this society. finding our spiritually, our politics, our idealism, our prejudices, our common ground, our likes, our dislikes and everything that we are as citizens of this great country. someone says they want to be a liberal or a conservative, they want to say they are a bigot or a lover of all, or someone knocks at the door pushing their religious agenda. why are these things tolerated in this country? why can't everyone be conservative, like me, and have no one hate someone else because of the color of their skin, like me, and why can't we all just be of one faith? the answer in a nutshell... FREEDOM!

what do you mean freedom? yeah, we are free.... that's how the founders of this country wanted it... we have always had a "right" to say and think what we want.... we have always... this is AMERICA and we are the greatest...

have you ever heard these words before? sure you have. i have. what gives us the ability to think and live our lives this way?

the men and women, who from the beginning of this country have stood their ground and said "we will be free people and i will protect my country". generations upon generations have lost family members because they believed in this statement. because they believed in what this country stands for - FREEDOM.

for us to fail to remember the sacrifices of generations of americans who have stood up and gave their lives so that you and i, and many others throughout the world, could have freedom and have the ability to choose how we will vote; have a free voice to say things that may really irritate someone else; choose our faith (not based on fear) and allowing us to knock on someone's door to promote that religion, just as we are free to not accept their invitation. all of these freedoms are not something that has just happened. men and women have been disabled, been tortured, been shot at and blown up and many have died for THIS freedom, that we sometimes take so lightly.

as we find ourselves bickering about our leadership, our politics, our religions, our immigration, our gas prices, our troubles, trials and tribulations, let's take a moment to lay down our selfish demands, wants and opinions to remember our FREEDOM FIGHTERS who have given up their demands, wants, opinions and even their lives so you and i may bicker about ours.

to all our service personnel... may God bless you, remember you and keep you safe and THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for keeping me and my family safe and free. there is no one as brave as you!

Bill Of Rights

US Constitution

more dirtbikes...

2006-05-26T00:10:00.000-07:00

i just wanna ride...................................................

no, i did not crash!.............................................................

fat boy! poor suspension!....................................

have i lost my mind or simply just my head?..........................

this sure beats the view from my desk....................................

take a risk...

2006-05-24T16:44:00.000-07:00

....i wonder what it is like for those who do not try things. now, i don't mean strange foods or dying your hair blue. i mean being adventurous. doing something scary, like riding a rollercoaster or riding a dirtbike up a wall and hoping to not crash when you leave the ground at the top.

i cannot think of my life without motorcycles. i started riding when i was 8 (yes that was the 70's people) and i haven't really stopped. well, i should revise that. i stopped in 1984 until 2000 because i was in an accident that destroyed my right leg. the first doctor said they would have to amputate, my dad said no (thankfully) and the second doctor said he would do his best. well 13 surgeries, the loss of 2 inches and 9 yrs later, i can walk again. sort of. i wear a lifted shoe, which by the way i fucking hate, because i can't wear any old shoe i want and i love shoes. but if i don't wear it, my back hurts badly and i do nothing but travel in a circle (think about it - take a soda cup and roll it across the table).

anyway, this injury has not slowed me down any, as you can see from the picture above. this is in spokane last week-end, with "spokane denny" (right), the wild man! he is in his 60's and it is all i can do to keep up with him. i think, no, i know, that dirtbiking is my most favorite passion. i get more enjoyment out of flying thru the air and railing a berm than just about any other activity - yes, even sex is not as good (dirtbiking last longer and i can legally take pictures without my wife getting mad).

if you have never tried it, do. don't sit life out because of fear. get on that rollercoaster, let go of the handlebars once in a while and absorb exhilaration! absorb life!

the glass is half...

2006-05-19T11:36:00.000-07:00

i sometimes try to see the glass as half full, but usually end up with an empty glass. i guess i am just a pessimist trying to be optimistic, without being always successful. i have been at a trade show/conference for three days now and i am bored stiff! this cost me a lot of money to be here and it is a dud!

ok, here is the optimistic part... they had free high speed wireless, so i spent two days on-line blogging and wasting time. i got paid for this too! how is that for a glass half full? (what the hell did i do with my damn beer!)

i will be off-line now until i get home (sun. midnight) and i am certain that i will go thru some sort of withdrawals from staring at this screen and drinking for two days. tomorrow, i am going dirt biking with my old friend "spokane denny" and i know that will help with my dt's , plus some more drinking after the ride...

not those shoes...

2006-05-18T00:08:00.000-07:00

i will tell you that i have a shoe fetish. i love shoes! i know it is not exactly a manly thing to admit, but i like to look at shoes. now, you also must know that it is not so bad that i can tell you name brands or designer shoes or even what style they are half the time. i just know when a shoe looks like a piece of dog shit that you think passes for taste! i mean your shoes say a lot about the type of person you are. if you think about your shoes and how they appear, how they "fit" in with your attire and how the shoes make you look in general, then you are probably a pretty thoughtful person with some aspect of class and self awareness.

i also should divulge that i hate feet! they are really gross and some should just never come out! i hate long toe nails. oh, and lets add the dirt that some like to collect under their disgusting nails. how is that attractive? i could go on and on and on... but this post was about shoes.

i like to look at a woman's shoes first before i work my way up. i know, some women are going "you pig", well maybe, but i think women are the best looking thing ever put on this planet and i love to admire their beauty. even my wife knows i check the shoes first then, if i have liked the shoes, i may get to "wow, what a nice rack! honey did you see those?" she would kindly say yes and even some times, she points them out to me first and i reply, "yeah, but did you see those hideous shoes? those are ridiculous looking!" (my wife is not a jealous person, and if i were to say that a woman "wanted" me, she would say "sure, fatty, they all want you! good luck! - man, i love my wife!)

i guess all i am saying is think about what you put your feet in or on. think about how your shoes reflect your personality and for pete's sakes, take care of your feet and dig that shit out from your nails, because that is just really, really gross! and you know, those cracks on your heels...

mother's day...

2006-05-17T01:10:00.000-07:00

i spent another mother's day away from home. i bought a mothers ring for my daughters to give their mother and i did call my mom and my mother-in-law, so all was right with the world. i really hate the early morning flights. i slept for three hours on sat. night and got up at 3:30am to catch a 6am flight to spokane washington for 8 days. at least my early plane included a prepackaged honey bran muffin and a complimentary can of coke (i would rather have had pepsi, but complimentary is complimentary) anyway, i am here and already longing to return home.

i have to start a show tomorrow, oh wait, it's 1:22am, so today, i will start a show and be bored stiff. i may have to drink myself silly just to survive the monotony. i don't mind coming to spokane because i have family here and it is nice to see them every once in a while and i usually get to go dirt biking with a friend of mine. that makes the fatigue of sitting on my ass for 3 days talking to dumbasses that really are only here to get credits to further their "education" so they can keep their city/county/state jobs. it is also a good excuse to miss work and get paid for it and to drink like they are in high school again. boy, i can hardly contain my enthusiasm and excitement to get started...

the song remains the same...

2006-05-10T10:39:00.000-07:00

i stole this idea from nicolemart and thought it was hard, but fun. so you try it.

Now I have to answer questions using only the song titles from a chosen musician/band.

Musician I chose: The Smiths

Male or Female: This Charming Man

Describe yourself: Sweet and Tender Hooligan

How do some people feel about you: Bigmouth Strikes Again

How do you feel about yourself: Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now

Describe your ex: You’ve Got Everything Now

Describe your current significant other: You’re The One For Me

Describe where you want to be: Back To The Old House

Describe how you live: Oscillate Wildly

Describe how you love: Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me

What would you ask for if you had just one wish: Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want

Share a few words of wisdom: These Things Take Time

Now say goodbye: I Know It’s Over

give the gift of...

2006-05-08T09:21:00.000-07:00

sometimes people can really get on your nerves. bad drivers, the rude cashier, bill collectors, phone sales guy who does not take NO for an answer, people waiting in the line at the post office, the DMV lady who hates her job. so i think you get the idea. you try to do the old "kill 'em with kindness", but really ending up wanting to just "kill" them instead.

well, have you ever tried to find the perfect gift for such a person and have never been successful in finding it? i think this new product from RONCO will fill the bill perfectly for those "loved" one who deserve only the best!

but wait, if you order now, we will also include the new and improved lemon & salt soothing pads. the perfect compliment to our toilet paper! this is what every "special" person needs!

that's my celly...

2006-05-06T16:00:00.000-07:00

i am curious as to why anyone would answer their cell phone while they are eating, only to tell the caller that they are at dinner and they will call back later. why would you answer it at all? i really don't get it? why even take it to dinner and if you are eating at home, why pick up the phone? have we all gotten so important that we cannot resist the need to see what important detail is coming through the lines? i just don't get it. try to make it through one meal without your celly blowin up and i think you will be surprised how much you can enjoy a meal and enjoy the company hopefully you are with. hang up, turn off and discover life disconnected...

from 244am before i deleted the rants!

get your kicks...

2006-05-03T21:58:00.000-07:00

i got mine on route 66. as usual, i took my annual motorcycle trip to the laughlin river run. this is the 5th year of my pilgrimage and i thought it was time for something a little different.

i went with a bigger group for the first 2 yrs, both male and female, but it somehow turned into a "guys" week-end. there are now 4 of us guys going for the week-end.

as always, we stayed in primm, nv at buffalo bills casino. it is about 80 miles away from laughlin and the price is so much better than trying to stay in laughlin. besides, it is nice to be in a more quite place than a motorcycle rally with 70,000 other bikers after a 6 hour, 350 mile trip. besides, the beer (not that they serve this kind) is cheap and cold, so i like staying there.

as i digress from the point, we usually go to laughlin on saturday and hang out there all day. we check out bike, babes with boobs and look for some cheap deals on "biker" stuff. i like to stop by the harley-davidson corner and pick up my H.O.G. pin too. so, this year we decided to only go to laughlin for an hour or so and take a road trip. we decided to go do route 66 out of kingman, az. but, first we had to stop at the h-d shop in kingman and get a picture and buy some swag.

after my flirting, we headed out over 66. it really isn't so beautiful or scenic, but it is neat to think that this simple two lane hwy used to be the only way across the country. so, we traveled what is left of this great old hwy, in az., and made a few stops along the way. below are a couple of pictures out front of a bar on the hwy, but it was closed for a remodel. too bad because i would have liked to see inside (i never drink on my bike). any way it was cool to see the old signs and take a quick pic. and a couple pics of us on the road.

we also stopped in seligman, az and ate some really good pie. if you ever get close, stop in at the copper cart and get your own pie! this is gail and she is the best baker, chief cook and wonderful waitress and owner of the cart. she is from minnesota, but we can't hold that against her. she was really great and made the stop really worth it.

so we headed back west and took a trip over hoover dam and into las vegas. i can't say anymore about this, because what happens in vegas, stays in vegas!

it was a great weekend and i can't wait until next year. it will be hard to plan a better trip than this one, but i will have a year to figure it out.

(any of the pics with guys on them were taken by me with my cell phone at about 80 miles an hour!)

a day without...

2006-05-02T00:26:00.000-07:00

today was supposed to be the end of our nation. i mean you know since our whole economy is run by mexicans, oh, sorry, latinos and they are taking a day off, we will feel the loss of their power. now don't get me wrong, i am not a hater of mexicans or really anyone for that matter, as long as they are here legally. i watched all the people interviewed over the stupid news and listened to them say that they (illegal immigrants) are owed the right of citizenship because of how hard they work and how much they do for our counrty. my answer, the short version - bullshit! no one is owed anything when they break the law to be here. why has this country instilled, in even illegals, to think that they have rights when they have broken the law? it is like the term "prisoners rights". if you break the law you loose your rights plain and simple.

i heard another interviewee say that they are just coming here to give their kids a better education. that may very well be true, but they are not paying for that "better education", i am and everyone else who pays their taxes. come here legally and pay your taxes and your kids can have that better education. they will even be taught ENGLISH the national language of this country and then they can teach you.

i like the way the dutch do it. you watch a video, take a test and you must learn their language BEFORE you enter THEIR country. what the hell is wrong with that? they aren't saying you can't come over. they are simply saying you must assimilate to the customs, values and language that they have. what is wrong with that?

the dutch way

besides, i rather enjoyed my time in costco today without my non-english speaking friends packing the whole family (all 37 of them) into the mini van to shop for that most needed item.

and lastly, i will try to say something nice since this post has been a tirade. i do not like the term "illegal aliens"! they are not aliens, they are human beings; people simply looking for a better life, but they simply have gone looking for it in the wrong way, and expecting to be given something they do not deserve. come here legally. get your job that is so much better than anything in mexico (or any other place for that matter) and pay your taxes like the rest of us. i mean lets face it, most "americans" have come from somewhere else. i think most did it by legal means. maybe the paper work process could be simplified or there could be a better system for immigration so it became easier, but until it is LEGAL it is ILLEGAL and no one should have rights for that.

some should be neutered...

2006-04-24T23:49:00.000-07:00

i stopped in to take my wife a coffee (RN on 6pm-6am)and met a new friend. i will call him joe and he is a drug addict. he is suffering with addiction and withdrawals and shakes terribly. he doesn't even know how he became an addict. really it wasn't his fault, he is a victim of society and innocent of any crime. how can this be you ask?

well the sub human woman who gave birth to this friend of mine, who by the way, is only a month old, is a drug addict. she says she is not and she is being wrongly accused of harming this infant. oh, this is also her 4th child. why are some people allowed to reproduce? this bitch should not be allowed to have the blessing of children.

i held this boy as he shook and writhed in obvious pain. i couldn't help but feel so bad for this little person, who should not have had to start life this way. i kept thinking about how hard the world and life are without starting your first day as a junky. i held him for over an hour and fell in love with him. maybe it was compassion, maybe anger or maybe something that i have no idea about, but i needed to love him and hold him. i had a very bad day (see previous post)and he changed my day completely. i had to love him because i am not sure he will get any of that as he grows into his life.

joe, may God watch over you, keep you and give you an unbelievable sense of self and love so you may rise above your beginnings.

target practice...

2006-04-23T20:05:00.000-07:00

i think that today i am relieved that we cannot "legally" carry fire arms. if it were legal i most certainly would have terminated a few stupid idiots today! i think i must have over-slept or something because i hated everyone today. i should have just stayed in and not done the world today. why do we have days like that sometimes? i mean it wasn't just one or even a couple of people - i wanted to blast the hell out of several dozen! people can be so rude and inconsiderate and you hope they might see that they have been rude, but then they would have to speak english to say sorry! i think i will go to the store now (my last adventure for this shit day) and buy some good beer, maybe fat tire, and plug in a movie and try to forget that this day happened. if i fail to forget, at least i will have treated myself to some good beer and hopefully a decent movie...

just to scare you...

2006-04-20T08:38:00.000-07:00

i received this in an e-mail with the line: i'll be back!

now if that does not scare the hell out of you something is wrong. when are people going to realize that we have got to stop with the hand-outs, stop illegal immigration and stop wasting money on useless & unproductive legislation?

ok i am done from the soapbox. but, to be perfectly honest i am getting rather tired of all the politics in this country. it seems that they spend more time yelling about the other "party" and pointing the finger at the other "party" instead of pulling their head out of their asses and making laws that are good for this country as a whole and not just good for some small group in the middle of nowhere, simply because they had a better lobbyist or their backwater representative was able to sneak some stupid thing in the bottom of another bill.

i stepped on the box again didn't i. ok, i am down again. i just wish we had not let ourselves (this country) spiral down to what we are becoming. for example, do we or do we not still consider ENGLISH to be our language of choice here? why do we spend, err, i mean waste, millions of dollars printing everything in a gazzilion different languages? everywhere i go anymore everything is in spanish. why the hell do we have to cater to people who do not learn english? do you think any other country would do the same for us? hell no, if i move to mexico, i had better learn spanish or i am in for a world of hurt.

oh man, i did it again. ok, really, i am stepping down. no, really! but doesn't it just piss you off when...

the mind of a child...

2006-04-17T00:14:00.000-07:00

i just love how my 13 yr old thinks. she wears her heart and life on her sleeve. if she thinks it, she says it. if she says it, she feels it. i hope that she can retain that honesty as a grown up.

it seems that the older i get the more cynical i become. i say less of what i am thinking because i feel few will listen. it sucks getting old sometimes.

i love my children

our cruising altitude will be...

2006-04-10T21:28:00.000-07:00

i have been away from home for 13 days straight. that is a long time to be away. i was in colorado for 8 days and wyoming for 5 days. this blog has really helped me stay "attached" to my world while i am away. the other thing i do to stay connected with my wife is video conference. we get on msn and watch each other and talk it is really cool. thank goodness for high speed connections!

this has not been much of a post,but i just wanted you to know that i am glad to be home for a few days.

i was supposed to go camping at the beach for my daughters spring break, but the forcast is for rain all 4 days that we were going to be there, so we are not going. i am pretty bummed because i was looking forward to a few days in my trailer at the beach.

also, i have picked up some new reader - welcome and please feel free to comment anytime.

Barbecue Season...

2006-04-05T20:01:00.000-07:00

i was asked if i thought that the girls on DOND was chauvinistic. maybe it is with the "hi howie". to be honest i never thought about it, i just like the retarded people who don't take a good thing via greed. anyway, i got this e-mail and thought it was fitting for chauvinism. althought it is almost true, i do get the meat ready and i put the alcohol down long enough to know that my meat is on fire (hello, i am a man and should know about my meat):

After four long months of cold and winter, finally spring arrives and with it, BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking ritual as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.
When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:
Routine:
1. The woman buys the food.
2. The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
3. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
Here comes the important part:
4. THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
More routine:
5. The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
6. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.
Important again:
7. THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
More routine:
8. The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.
9. After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all:
10. Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
11. The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing her!

i am amused...

2006-03-29T18:52:00.000-08:00

i have to make a confession. i am addicted to this stupid game show, deal or no deal. i have never really been a game show guy or even a reality show guy. i have never watched survivor, amazing race, next top model or even american idol. i did watch the average joe because it gave me hope for the ugly average idiots like myself, but that was about it. anyway, back to DOND. i love the fact that there is no skill involved in this game. it is shear luck and guessing. i do wonder if they ask them to be risky and not jump at smaller figures to make the game more entertaining, but who knows. i keep trying to win the 10 grand, but have been unsuccessful to this point.

maybe for 10 grand i should say "no deal, howie"

new confusor...

2006-03-22T02:38:00.000-08:00

i had to break down and buy a new computer. my old one was purchased in 2004 and was outdated in 2003. it was time to upgrade to something faster, bigger, smarter and of course more money than the previous model. i stayed with hp because i have always had good luck with hp, at least for 3 years or so until the brain scrambles and starts to prematurely stop running. i got this thing at costco (the very hot bed of computer technology) and it has a 21" monitor. i like that since my eye sight is getting smaller... sight is less, screen is more. i must say i am not sure i enjoyed transferring all of the crap that we piled up in 3+ yrs of use on our old unit. i hope i will enjoy this one for 3 or 4 years.

i have got to go to bed now and go to work tomorrow for the next three days, come home for two days and then i am gone for 13 straight days. talk to you on the road...

please read me...

2006-03-16T23:30:00.000-08:00

i was told if i would post more cleavage on my blog i would get much more viewership. so i was curious if it would get any more readers and some more comments. so here is some cleavage and i expect comments!!!

.............................gottcha!

wasting time...

2006-03-12T21:32:00.000-08:00

seems like i never have enough time to do anything. i start out with the best of intentions that i will do a long list of over due items. then i wake up and realize that i don't even feel like getting out of bed some days. i wish i had better organizational skills and was dilegent about sticking to a task. i am certain that the trump would fire me for lack of motivation or better hair than him. i will be leaving on another trip tomorrow morning. i am not really looking forward to it... i never am. i have to make my bi-monthly pilgrimage to the office in long beach. maybe if i drag my butt long enough, i will get a free lunch out of it. i am now watching the clock and think i better go and stop wasting our time talking about nothing........ you clock watcher!

pleasure...

2006-03-07T23:03:00.000-08:00

i went riding in washington again. i love to ride! it is an unexplainable experience and feeling to fly through the air and shred dirt. i can't wait until the next time i can go.

refreshed...

2006-02-11T20:02:00.000-08:00

i have been camping, well hanging out in my rv trailer and riding my bicycle for two days now and i am really feeling refreshed. i have put "camping" (i am not a tent, let hike up to the top for a coronary kind of person) on the schedule one week-end of every month until june at this time. i really love to get away, yet still feel like i am at home. i know that really doesn't make a lot of sense but i have a 28 foot trailer and it is filled with my stuff, so it feels like home just on wheels. we are at a camp ground in morro bay, ca only a couple hours from home, but it feels worlds away. this is really a tough place to hang out - full hook-ups - electricity, water, sewer, cable tv and wireless internet. all for 38 bucks a night. i love it. next month we will be going out to the desert to dirtbike, so there will be no hook-ups for anything-we will have to use our generator and haul our own water. i will love that too.

i feel really happy. the drugs help too!

how can man...

2006-02-08T22:00:00.000-08:00

I often think of man’s ways
But sometimes my mind strays
To visit a single life such as my own
A complex person simply on loan.
But through my own display of smart
I think of others to pick apart.
Not to destroy, but to question why?
Why is it a kind man will lie?
Is it to gain ground on a friend?
Is it his heart that will never mend?
What makes a sane man kill?
Can he do that of his own free will?
I know somewhere man has gone wrong.
But can he change and for how long?
It seems to me very odd indeed
That man has become so much in need
Of a thoughtless, conscienceless, fiery lust.
And have no hope, nor in God do they trust.
How can man live a life such as this?
Sometimes I think these men will be the one’s God will miss.

my turn...

2006-02-02T22:09:00.000-08:00

seven things no one should know about me...

1. i went to a wham concert in 83
2. i love pb&j sandwiches
3. my ass has the curve of a 2x4
4. i thought about my current wife the day i married the first wife.
5. i cut my nails (fingers & toes) too short.
6. i am afraid of water
7. i lived in a 14 ft travel trailer w/out running water for 1 1/2 yrs.

seven favorite movies...

1. it's a wonderful life (blk & wht)
2. the american president
3. jerry mcguire
4. garden state
5. big trouble in little china
6. happy gilmore
7. star wars (1977)

seven favorite bands...

1. the smiths
2. x
3. rem
4. pearl jam
5. led zepplin
6. sex pistols
7. dave matthews band

seven favorite things...

1. mexican food
2. a good steak
3. ice cold beer on a hot day
4. the smell of my wife's neck
5. motorcycles
6. family & friends
7. this moment... until the next one comes

it says something...

2006-01-25T21:06:00.000-08:00

i often struggled with my love for my wife. i adore my bride and have an unquenchable desire to be with her. but... she has trouble making intimacy a prioity. she loves me very much, but doesn't always show her love. this is a strange thing that a woman would be the unromantic one in a relationship and the man would long to be "cuddled", but it happens. i am always looking for some way to spark her interest in showing passion. i have been listening to death cab for cutie (my prize for being 10,000+/- on spiltwine) and they have written some words that i feel say a tremendous amount about true love, commitment and passion.

"i will follow you into the dark"

love of mine some day you will die
but i'll be close behind
i'll follow you into the dark

no blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
just our hands clasped so tight
waiting for the hint of a spark
if heaven and hell decide
that they both are satisfied
illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

if there's no one beside you
when your soul embarks
then i'll follow you into the dark

in catholic school as vicious as roman rule
i got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black
and i held my tongue as she told me
"son fear is the heart of love"
so i never went back

if heaven and hell decide
that they both are satisfied
illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

if there's no one beside you
when your soul embarks
then i'll follow you into the dark

you and me have seen everything to see
from bangkok to calgary
and the soles of your shoes are all worn down
the time for sleep is now
it's nothing to cry about
cause we'll hold each other soon
in the blackest of rooms

if heaven and hell decide
that they both are satisfied
illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

if there's no one beside you
when your soul embarks
then i'll follow you into the dark
then i'll follow you into the dark

death cab for cutie from the album plans

my first post of 2006...

2006-01-17T00:51:00.000-08:00

starting to blue...

2005-12-09T18:45:00.000-08:00

and so it begins - the holiday blues. i tend to really dislike the month of december. not that it is such a bad month or that i become all consumed with shopping and all that stuff. i just get so exhausted with all the fuss and activity that transacts in this month. every commercial is for junk that few of us need. everyone is in a hurry to go shopping and blow their money on previously said junk. "get out of my way i need that gift..." merry christmas to you too.

i am looking forward to january and a new beginning, thus giving me eleven month of peace before i have to be disgusted once again. i need a nap!

time to post something...

2005-11-23T00:47:00.000-08:00

i have been requested to update this stupid blog. i wish i had something useful and enlightening to say, but i do not. seems like i have not had time to use my brain for anything creative. i have been trying to work more (because spending time with one's family can be so over rated!)

i did recently just take a trip to spokane washington for a week-end of motocross riding. a friend of mine (work associate) has a couple of bikes and let me ride one. it was a KTM 450 and i fell in love with it. fastest bike i have ever riden, on dirt anyway.

i wish i had one of my own, but it is pretty expensive and untouchable at this time. maybe someday.

i have also gone camping with my family (yes quality time with my family - work is really over rated!) and we had a great time. we went dirt biking up in hollister. i just got my youngest daughter a new motorcycle; her first one with a clutch and 5 gears. she took off like nothing and i was really happy that she did so good. she likes to ride and camp. good family time, but my wife crashed, as usual, twice and is bruised to the point of abuse (i don't beat her on her face, just hips and thighs!) she still wants to ride, so that is good - i think.

well, that is not very exciting or thought provoking, but it is new. have a great thanksgiving holiday (canadian friends, have a good day eh!)

99 bottles of beer...

2005-11-02T23:33:00.000-08:00

i have been in colorado for 4 days now so i decided to treat myself to a free tour of the coors brewing company. man it is huge and a really awesome thing to see. i want a job there - they get 9 cases a month at a 40% discount. the only thing better than that would be free beer. it was very facinating to see the size and scale of their beer making process. it is astounding that we (society as a whole) consume that much beer. the plant runs 24/7/365. did you know that coors invented the aluminum can in 1959? yep. this is one of the many useless trivia facts that are now part of my encyclopedia of useless facts that will only win me points in drunken trivial pursuit. i enjoyed myself. the best part was getting my 3 free samples of any beer or zima that i wanted. i tried blue moon (very good), winterfest (seasonal, dark by coors standards) and a flavored zima (frozen slurpy style black cherry). i liked the blue moon the best - more like a sierra nevada or fat tire than a coors light. did you know that coors and molsen are now partners? yep, molsen-coors is the official moniker, giving respect to molsen for brewing long before ol' adolph started. more uselessness.

nothing to say...

2005-10-19T21:57:00.000-07:00

it has been so long since i have posted, most probably thought me to be dead. nope, just lazy and left with nothing to say.

life has been crazy lately and i am ready for the ride to come to a full and complete stop so i can go around and get in line for another trip. we always complain at an amusement park about waiting in line, but in reality maybe it is a way for us to recharge, recoup and prepare for the next go round on the ride. what an e-ticket it has been. i have been so busy that i have not had one week-end to do anything for myself or to my home. my garage is still an absolute disaster and getting worse if that is possible. i haven't even looked at my pool in a month (too cold now to swim anyway) i am ready for a break.

i quit the band - no more music (the thing i liked the most). quit the motorcycle group (my term in office is over in dec.) and have said NO to a great many things. 2006 is looking good for r&r, family time and some me time.

deb, caity and i took our first camping trip with our new trailer. we had a whole lot of things go wrong as we were trying to leave for the coast, but nothing that stopped our trip. started out we had a problem with our weight distribution hitch. went to the local rv dealer and got that taken care of. the dealer we bought our rv from will be paying for that fix, even if they don't know it yet. then we are driving to morro bay and it is getting dark... turn on the lights - bam no more running lights to the trailer. not much i can do in the middle of no where. we drive on. so we arrive in mb and i have to set up our trailer, for the first time, in the dark. it actually wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. i had set it up a couple of times in the drive way and at the place we store it, so i had a good idea what i was doing, but i have never had to have it level and hook up all the stuff - water, electricity, sewer. well i left off the sewer until the end of the weekend because the tanks can hold 40 gal. (that is a lot of pooh) anyway, sat rolls around and i go into town to get a fuse for the truck and fix the running lights. i also picked up a coax cable to hook up to the cable tv outlet at the campground - maiden voyage, had to see if everything works! (i spent the rest of sat watching usc beat the irish in a classic and then watched nascar. i have not sat for that much tv in months, maybe years.) it was great! sunday came and we loaded up and came home. after all the beginning headaches, the week-end went really well and i am looking forward to our next big adventure - dirtbiking in hollister with no hook-ups (damn, no cable tv). it will be another new experience - full self containment.

well i guess i said some stuff. maybe this will break my writers block and give me some mental power to be creative.