super...

i have been sick with this damn super cold, that has been going around, for two weeks now. i am damn tired of coughing up lung and never feeling better. it is always amazing to me how quickly we can spread germs and disease. i mean, it is not like we go around licking handrails on the stairwell to the subway. well at least i don't. if you do, you have more serious issues besides what cold you may pick (or lick) up.

well on to something else sickening. politics.

did everyone survive "super tuesday"? i know it was a big day here in kollifornya (as my terminator governor would say) because of the number of delegates at stake. i didn't go to a polling office, so i don't know how the turnout was or what the quiet discussions were. i typically absentee vote because with my travels i am rarely home on a tuesday. anyway, i voted some time back, like a retard, and voted for someone who was no longer running. it looks now like i will have to settle for the old soldier and hope that he can leave behind some of his liberal ideology. mainly, i hope he will finally see that we have to control our borders long before we can claim that "homeland security" is secure. and the crazy liberals, who want to take in these illegals and give them rights, benefits, welfare and a voice is the dumbest thing i have ever heard of. more on this later. my blood pressure just spiked and i need to lie down.

really i'm not dead...

it has been some time since i have been here. i got burnt out on sitting on my ass in front of a computer...writung, reading, commenting, thinking, drinking and getting fat! i think i will try to come back once in a while and write for myself. if you've made it here, maybe you made a mistake or you are an old blog friend, but in any case, i am going to write what is on my mind. if you are a liberal democrap, may i suggest you stop now and never return because you will not like my opinion. and it is just that MY OPINION! not everything that i believe can be proven or backed up with some resonable fact, but it is the way i think about it. don't like it, don't read it.

future thoughts

- illegal immigration
- useless liberal agenda of wasteful spending
- iraq
- taxes
- marriage
- death (is that considered the same thing?)
- travel/hotels/bad food
- any other bit of shit i care to discuss.


now... i am spent. this is a lot of typing for my first post back.

no explaination needed...

You've got to love our Veterans....

This man, 73, wears a protective flap over his ear while Senator Hillary Clinton addresses the Veterans of Foreign Wars.

a magazine for married men...

what i did last week-end...

NEW TELEPHONE GREETING

Wouldn't it be pretty amazing, if this caught on, all over the country?.........

"GOOD MORNING, WELCOME TO THE UNITED STATES."

"Press '1' if you speak English,"
"Press '2' to disconnect until you can."

The Hypnotist...

The Hypnotist at the Senior Center

It was entertainment night at the Senior Center and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill.

People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff.

As Claude went to the front of the meeting room, he announced, "Unlike most hypnotists who invite two or three people up here to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."

The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. "I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations."

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch..."

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.

"Shit" said the Hypnotist.

It took three days to clean up the senior center.

and so it begins...

no title needed...

The New Laurel and Hardy.


Kerry and Kennedy!












Brought to you by the great commonwealth of Mass-a-two-shits...

morning...

timing is everything...

A cop was patrolling at night at a well-known lover's lane. He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly glowing. The cop carefully approaches the car to get a closer look.

Then he sees a young man behind the wheel reading a computer magazine. He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, knitting. Puzzled by this surprising situation, the cop walks to the car and gently raps on the driver's window.

The young man lowers his window. "Uh, yes, officer?"
"What are you doing?"
"Well, isn't it obvious? I'm reading a magazine, sir."
Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the cop says: "And her, what is she doing?"

The young man shrugs: "Sir, I believe she's knitting a pullover sweater."

Now, the cop is totally confused. A young couple. Alone, in a car, at night in a Lover's Lane and nothing obscene is happening!

"What's your age, young m an?"
"I'm 23, sir."
"And her ... what's her age?"

The young man looks at his watch and replies:
"She'll be 18 in 11 minutes."