what i did last week-end...

NEW TELEPHONE GREETING

Wouldn't it be pretty amazing, if this caught on, all over the country?.........

"GOOD MORNING, WELCOME TO THE UNITED STATES."

"Press '1' if you speak English,"
"Press '2' to disconnect until you can."

The Hypnotist...

The Hypnotist at the Senior Center

It was entertainment night at the Senior Center and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill.

People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff.

As Claude went to the front of the meeting room, he announced, "Unlike most hypnotists who invite two or three people up here to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."

The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. "I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations."

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch..."

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.

"Shit" said the Hypnotist.

It took three days to clean up the senior center.

and so it begins...

no title needed...

The New Laurel and Hardy.


Kerry and Kennedy!












Brought to you by the great commonwealth of Mass-a-two-shits...