time alone...

i left home on june 14th for a business trip. i started out with the thought of using the time to make some decisions in my life about who i wanted to be and who i wanted to grow old with or if i wanted to grow old alone. i thought the time alone on the road would be revealing into who i am. that idea has crumbled. i am more confused now than i was when i left. the only thing that i am sure of is that i am going to continue to exercise. it makes me feel good and maybe i can loose some weight and maybe gain some clarity on the rest of my days.

wine barrel...

i started exercising today. i mean for real, not just 10 min. and say "ahh thats good enough". i spent 45 minutes in there sweating and stinking and wishing i had not let myself go so far. i think i weight about 214 lbs. that would be really cool if i was like, ah 6'4" or somewhere in that range and not 5'8". i feel like a wine barrel without the pleasure of the wine. i am going to try and stay on a healthy path. eat better, drink less and exercise more. no promises or resolutions - just me making better choices.

a new day...

i think i need to change my thinking and change how i feel about the things that go on in my life. maybe i will start blogging again as therapy, specially now that no one reads it. i can start anew with thoughts, words and ideas. maybe i can find the peace i used to have with those that got me started blogging. i know that i need more of the Man upstairs.

today is step one.