One Hundred Years Ago...

Here are some of the U.S. statistics for the Year 1906

The average life expectancy in the U.S. was 47 years. * Only 14 percent of the homes in the U.S. had a bathtub. * Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone. * A three-minute call from Denver to New York City cost eleven dollars. * There were only 8,000 cars in the U.S., and only 144 miles of paved roads. The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph. * Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa, and Tennessee were each more heavily populated than California. With a mere 1.4 million people, California was only the 21st most populous state in the Union. * The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower! * The average wage in the U.S was 22 cents per hour. The average U.S. worker made between $200 and $400 per year. * A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year, a dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year. * More than 95 percent of all births in the U.S. took place at HOME. * Ninety percent of all U.S. doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION! Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press AND the government called it "substandard." * Sugar cost four cents a pound. * Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen. * Coffee was fifteen cents a pound. * Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used borax or egg yolks for shampoo. * Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from entering into their country for any reason. * Five leading causes of death in the U.S. were: 1. Pneumonia and influenza 2. Tuberculosis 3. Diarrhea 4. Heart disease 5. Stroke. * The American flag had 45 stars. Arizona, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Hawaii, and Alaska hadn't been admitted to the Union yet. * The population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was only 30!!!! * Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and ice tea hadn't been invented yet. * There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day. * Two out of every 10 U.S. adults couldn't read or write. * Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school. * Eighteen percent of households in the U.S. had at least one full-time servant or domestic help. * There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE U.S.A. !

In one life time people have traveled on "street cars" and "space ships" and man has walked on the moon!! What will our grandkids ask us one day?

What a difference a century makes!

priorities II....

A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls,
and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde.

The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.

Finally, after many such glances from her, he said,"It's golf balls".

Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally,
not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked,
"Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"

priorities...

A husband and wife go to a counselor after 15 years of marriage.

The counselor asks them what the problem is and the wife goes into a tirade listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they've been married. She goes on and on and on.

Finally, the counselor gets up, walks around the desk, embraces the wife and kisses her passionately. The woman shuts up and sits quietly in a daze.

The counselor turns to the husband and says, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"

The husband thinks for a moment and replies,"Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays, I golf."

it just bugs me...

i have spent the last two nights eating and drinking at the Sierra Nevada Brewery. now first, i will admit that i might have been partaking a little too much last night to really pay attention to much of anything, except i noticed they have the coolest thing called the "sampler". it is 11 or 12 large shot glasses of their different beers. you get to try from light to friggin black beer and decide what you like and don't like. i drank them all! i didn't like them all, but wasting beer is against my religion! then i got few pints of what i liked....


anyway, this post is not about how my liver is doing right now. it is about some things that i noticed while i was eating dinner at the brewery again, with a little less libations.



... in walks a handsom, nicely dressed man and a woman. the man is wearing a nice dress shirt with a collar and his hair is very neat. he is wearing a nice pair of black dockers, that are well pressed and a nice pair of black "work" style shoes. he then sits down to his table and what do i see.... WHITE socks! what the hell is this dork thinking? did he just run a marathon and forget to change his socks before dinner? does he have such bad foot odor that he was told by his doctor to never wear black socks? what an idiot! black pants, black shoes, .......................................................................................... black frickin' socks people!





... i am looking around the beautiful Taproom, which is very elegant, yet very comfortable and relaxed. i am looking around and happen to look directly at a disgusting pig woman who was chewing her food with her mouth open like a fucking camel! i can understand a child doing this, which a good parent would teach them to curb this as they age, but not a grown pig woman with little piglets children of her own. it was all i could do from laughing outloud, (i did have a few beers , so i figured i should not laugh too loud for fear of arrest for drunkenness!) gross!

Two Wolves...

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.

He said, "My son, the battle is between two "wolves" inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather:

"Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

Breaking News...

BREAKING NEWS !!!


Muslim Heaven, July 24, 2006




Al Qaeda leader Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, killed by US Forces in Iraq a few weeks ago, has just met with the first of his 72 virgins that Allah promised !!!





Daily News reporter Jack Hoff captured THIS exclusive photo of Mr. al-Zarqawi with his first virgin.

Allah is very loving!

what moves you...

i was reading some of the blogs that i really enjoy and read a great post by flounder and it got me thinking about how we can be moved so much by movies, books, tv and music.

barry used the movie field of dreams which is such an awesome movie and it always moves me to tears. i have seen it's a wonderful life a gazillon times, like most of us, yet it causes puddles each and every time. i think tom cruise is an idiot and a brainwashed freak, but i like jerry mcguire for it's dynamics between jerry and rod and how it changes as we travel through the movie. i liked the movie american president for the "character" that president andy had as a person (i did not agree with the political position, but that is another post).

how about music? i can't help but travel back in time with any number of different songs. every time i hear elton john sing crocodile rock it reminds me of laying behind the driver seat of our van as we traveled from california to florida to visit some friends. i hear a song on the radio and i am reminded of the concert i attended to see that band. or a song can take you back to the first girl you kissed or the first time you did a number of things. or it can take you anywhere or remind you of anyone from your past. i love to travel there. today, i still have songs that move me, because they say something or transport me to another place.

there are so many things that touch us as human beings. we love, we hate, we smile, we cry, we remember, we forget. we are so complex and diverse. what i want to know is what moves you? what movie makes you laugh and remember good times or takes you back to better days or causes you to cry, be it happy or sad? what songs takes you back to that "first love" or that famous road trip with your friends?

no longer stuffy...

i just like it...

"Ummmmm, yeeeaaaaa, ummmmm i think i'm ummm gonna need you to come in on saturday."

"Ummmmm, yeeeaaaaaa did you get that memo...."

oh, you wanted one...

ok, so i have been gone for a while trying to find something to complain about and wasn't having any luck.

wow, mgc, your life must be awesome?

well, no, not any better or any worse than anyone else's. i have just been too damn tired to care about much of anything. i just don't want to be bothered by anything right now... i think the scientific term for it is burnout, but i am not a doctor.

you're an asshole - i don't care
you're rude - i don't care
you're an idiot - again, i don't care
you're a jealous, petty, sniveling little bitch of a snitch - i care!

when i am home and not on the road, i like to take my wife dinner and a starbucks coffee. she works from 6pm to 6am and the little pick-me-up that i provide her has come in handy on some of those long nights. i always send her a text and tell her to get your orders in. now, notice that i said orders, as in more than one, not order, as in only for my wife. i would bring all the nurses in her dept., which is only two or three on any given night, but i would always ask if they wanted one too. i was the shit in her nursery! they loved me! i even gained a couple as "girlfriends" and i was happy to be the jammin jimmy with the java!

now, i would also stay and visit and look at the babies because i like babies, especially when they belong to someone else and i don't have to raise them... i digress. i went the other night and took dinner and coffee for the wife and a co-worker, we'll call her elton (don't ask). in order to get to the nursery i have to walk past one of the nurses stations on her floor. none of these bitches nurses are very friendly. they remind me of the snobby click of i am too good to notice you are breathing club of girls in high school. well, to keep you from turning the page, i will get to the point.... one of those bitches complained to a manager, because the wife and elton got "special treatment" and "strangers" should not be allowed in the nusery. i mean, i might be a baby snatcher or uncle pervy. i don't want any fucking kids... i can't wait for the one's that are mine to get the hell out of the house so i can walk around nekid whenever i want to and i think child molesters should be hung by their balls until death. i loved to visit and see these tiny babies grow, each time i would stop by something had changed. it was so great when a little one would finally get out of the "box", as i call it (incubator), and be able to be in a regular bassinet. i really loved to love the babies who came into this world already stoned, thanks to some dumb-ass DNA donor who couldn't lay off the smack long enough to have a straight child. and i loved it when i would walk in and a baby was gone, because that meant they got to go home. they grew big and strong and they got to go outside, and go home with mom and dad, or even to foster care... they grew strong and healthy and that made me happy.

now, i am not allowed to go there anymore. i guess if i would have bought coffee for all of their fat lazy asses, i would still be welcome. why not, it is $4.50 they don't have to spend. now, no one gets coffee and i don't get to send good thoughts of growth and health to my tiniest of tiny friends...

BITCHES