if you know me, you know that i can't deal with germs and i hate change. the really sad thing about both - there is not a damn thing i can do about either one. regardless of how much anti-bacterial hand sanitizer i use i am always touching something full of germs and filth. it is a dumb phobia i am aware, but it haunts me nonetheless. as for change. i get tired of it also. i think, mainly, i really have a hard time with change in the people i get to know and like. i started in at a new church almost 3 years ago. loved it and grew to love many people there, including all of the staff. one by one they will all leave (on to other things and other places, which sucks the most because they will not be close to hang out together) and our little unit, or family, will change. now i am not preaching that it will change for the worst or that it just will never be good. i know sometimes change is a good thing (as russ helped me to understand-thanks). i guess i am just sad to have to say good-bye to people that i have accepted as my family and friends. it sucks to say so long. and regardless of how much you say "hey we will always be friends and keep in touch", it so seldom happens. life over takes our time and absence steals away the close and connected relationship. when you see someone every week or several times in a week, you have a connection, a closeness. when you don't ever see them, you lose that. sure, you will most likely still be friends, but the dynamic changes and feelings wane.
my "rock star" is leaving me too. i am really going to miss him and his family very much. they are good people and it has been an honor to get to know them and share some time together. i will say that i am very proud of him for taking a leap of faith to regain his faith. i know he will be a shining light for his creator and a man who will change lives. you rock, dude!
i guess i better go for now and continue to feel sorry for myself, for my inability to cope with shifts in my fabric of time. what a weenie!
6 comments:
I was going to write something obnoxious here... and then I thought about writing something thoughtful... and then I realized I have nothing to say.
how about you both suck big donkey dicks and call it a day? hahaha, I'm glad I crack myself up!
Michael, I just realized that the address to your blog is your g string is busted hahahaha that's freakn' hysterical, and mean, cuz that would not be comfortable.
Ok, to your post: Don't say crap like we won't stay in contact...because listen, I don't even feel like Flora has left (except on Sunday mornings) but because we talk everyday online, either through instant messages or emails or blogs. We have connection. Thankfully, those of us who "blog" will continue to have a connection. Of course it's not ideal, and it's not the same, but it's something, and really it's the one thing I'm hanging on to. I told Andy, "we have internet before we eat." and that's the truth, because his wife needs her friends when she's alone in the desert more than food in her belly.
we'll miss you guys too
Donkey what?
Stacy..........sham on you. Hold on I am praying right now for you...........................................................................
Ok. I am done. Yeah, Mike I am with you. It does suck. Its nice to be a part of a real church family that is real and authentic. My only thought is that, God will bring in people to fill the spaces the others leave and it will be good. Not the same but good.
Oh, Wait. Stacy, God just spoke to me. He said not to worry about you. He has come to expect things like from you and that I should not be offended since he laughed at your comment as well. Ok. Your off the hook.
ok stacy, we will stay in touch. no need to name call. you know i am glad you got me into this "blog" thing. i am addicted to checking it several times a day. and you are right, with this we can talk often. anyway, we will stay connected - i promise. hey tell flora that i asked how are the germs on her forhead?
MW - thanks for praying for stacy! man was that brutal or what? donkey this!!! anyway i know we will be given other souls to fill the voids, it's just dealing with the initial loss that really sucks for me and the knowledge that this "moment" will never be again. i look forward to new moments with new people and i know it will be good. hey thanks for not moving away this week! i need someone to see on sunday.
oh and russ... thanks for nothing!
Michael, Flora says: "Germs are happy- I've stopped using soap- seriously!! But that is another discussion. Who knew that I would go granola AFTER leaving California!?"
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